Is it that hard or am I just spineless?

Lately, I’ve been having these thoughts in my head. Thoughts about how I want to change different things in my life. They are not new thoughts.I’ve had them so many times before. And since I never seem to change, they keep coming back to me.

The changes are not life-changing. It’s rather small changes like going to bed before 22.30, walk more, brush my teeth every night, eat less candy, eat more fruit and veggies etc. This changes are not so big, but I never seem to be able to change more than for a week. Then it’s back to the old me.

So I’ve been wondering; is it that hard to change or am I just spineless and undisciplined? Sadly I’ve come to the conclution that I’m both spineless and undisciplined.

Things need to change – once more. The question is how!

I talked to Chantie today and she had the same problem. She came up with a great plan. Let’s make a game out of it. Great, I said. I’m in. The plan is to make three goals and work with them for some time. We will blog about how it goes, write what we’ve acomplished and encurrage each other positivly. It will be small goals with a short timespan, at least in the beginning.

So from now and until sunday this is the plan:

1. walk more. Walk to Carl Berner every morning in stead of taking the bus on stop. Walk from Galgeberg (where the bus stops) and to the office, in stead of switching bus and take the bus two new stops.
2. be in bed by 22.30
3. brush my teeth every night (I used to be good at it, but recently I’ve been sloppy. I have been too tired to care)

Wish my good luck and let the games begin!

Oh I wanna share with you a poem I wrote back in ’04. It’s very fitting.

Someone else

I wanna be what I am not.
Don’t wanna be what I must be.
I wanna get what ain’t got.
Let me be someone else than me.

Change my thoughts and point of view.
Turn my favourite colour into red.
Don’t be so stubborn and listen to you.
Mess around with everything in my head.

Don’t wanna mean what I mean.
Wanna turn it upside down.
Don’t wanna be what I’ve been.
Wanna dress in a different gown.

Don’t wanna act the way that I do.
Wanna to it the opposite way.
Don’t wanna think of what I’ve been through.
Don’t gonna be me one more day.

Gonna start with a new dress.
The colour is gonna be red.
Throw away my thoughts and sort out this mess.
Sweep away the old things in my head.

Get a meaning that’s never been spoken.
Think new thoughts and get an altered view.
Keep the old promise that I’ve broken.
From this moment I’ll be totally new.

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